Cleaning

Dear Friend,

I really dislike cleaning.

I love a tidy house and I enjoy the cleaning part (scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming). It's the stuff in between - the tidying.

My kitchen needed a lot of work. I spent most of the afternoon with little to show for it. The floor is swept, the boxes of stuff to put have put away (and sitting on the table).

How do I have this much?
Why do I have this much?

The mental energy that goes into sorting and putting away boxes of junk is nearly the same as being in a crowd for a long time.

And the decisions? You'd think it was life and death the way I stared at the abundance of lidless containers and containterless lids.

It feels dumb to cry over that. I didn't, but I wanted to.

Sometimes the little things hit the hardest. I wanted to throw out everything I owned.

Then I realized I'd had barely one meal's worth of food all day - and none of it in the last 6 hours. Sometimes mood and food go hand-in-hand. In my case, eating and a short walk picked me right up again.

Not that I'm ready to finish cleaning tonight. Nope. That can wait.

I made good progress - the floor is swept and I have enough room on the table for my writing. It's a good start - and I find starting the hardest of all. It's amazing how much pressure is lifted by a start. I've been telling myself for months to take care of the containers and now that they finally are, it feels good.

What can you start that you've been dreading? Is there something I can do to help you get started or keep at it?

Until next time,
Heather

(originally written June 25, 2021)